Book 7: There I Go Again

Book 7

There I Go Again:

How I Came to Be Mr. Feeny, John Adams, Dr. Craig, KITT, & Many Others

By: William Daniels

Published 2017

ISBN: 978-1-61234-852-0

Approximately: 200 pages

Alright I fibbed again. I just couldn't get connected with the Making Meaning book when so many more books are sitting next to my chair I have more interest in. I actually finished this one before the month of March ended so I was ahead of my pace for about two days. I just never got around to writing my post.

For Book 7 I went back to one of my standby genres in Auto/Biography. Two of my favorite shows growing up were Knight Rider, when I was in my single digit years because of the talking car, and Boy Meets World, in my mid and late teen years as well as my early twenties. At the heart of both of those shows was the magnificent William Daniels. While many of my readers would surely recognize him as Mr. Feeny in Boy Meets World, many may not have realized he was also the voice of KITT the car in Knight Rider.

These two roles were more iconic for my generation. My parents generation may know Mr. Daniels as Dr. Mark Craig in the hospital drama, St. Elsewhere. Generations prior to us may have seen him in other roles on screen and stage. Additionally, this next generation will also have had the experience of Mr. Daniels genius in his cameos on the Boy Meets World revival called Girl Meets World where he reprised his role as mentor Mr. Feeny.

Mr. Daniels' book chronicles his entire journey through show business, the struggle of actors before the internet and YouTube could make you instantly famous on different mediums. How the rollercoaster of the life of an actor makes an impact on your personal life. He starts with his early years of being a child performer and chronicles all the way through his time on Girl Meets World.

Mr. Daniels takes the time to discuss the relationship he had with his mother and sister working in show business at an early age. How that has led him to understand the time, effort, and expectance of performing, sometimes even over education, could be considered a form a child abuse since it was being forced upon him and his sister by their mother. The individuals he has met through his work in show business. His work as a DJ in the military. How he was able to attend the theatre school at Northwestern. Meeting his, now, wife while there as both were, and continue to be, performers. The trials and tribulations of their relationship while both were working in the early years. The work he did during the commercials strike of 2000 as the President of the Screen Actors Guild. And how he has come to realize he "is a good actor."

It was very interesting reading Mr. Daniel's story. As I am starting to come to a crossroad in my life and career there were a few things that really spoke to me he discussed. While these pieces are out of order from his book I find them very relevant to my life right now. A piece Mr. Daniels discussed, I connected with was, "Don’t copy someone else’s performance, stick with what you’ve got-your own capabilities, your own instrument-and if you’re lucky enough not to be miscast (as I was in Tartuffe), you might come up with something presentable" (pg. 59). As I am looking at different opportunities available to me, in addition to my current ones, I think about my style and my skill set. While it can be adjusted, I have certain philosophies that some will agree with and some will agree to disagree. I can't try to sell something I'm not. That's not fair to me, nor is it fair to others around me thinking they are getting a great fit and I'm really not what they are looking for. Another piece of advice Mr. Daniels received was when writer could see what he could do, they would write parts specifically for him. I think that goes for many of us. As people see what we are passionate about, jobs, volunteer roles, etc., they may add or modify to our portfolios based on some of those interests.

Another piece I spent some time reflecting on I equated to my struggle to accept complements. I want those I work with to receive credit for anything positive or advancing what we do. When things go wrong I attempt to shoulder the struggle of the team. While that doesn't necessarily tend to work out long term, everyone assuming everything you do is a failure because you have set yourself up to be the regular scapegoat, I have found it has built trust among my teams. I think I look at compliments the same way Mr. Daniels looks at applause for a performance, "The applause simply meant I got it right, that the audience wasn’t disappointed. It didn’t fill me with a glow from all this 'love' pouring forth toward me and all that nonsense. It was just the end of another performance" (pg. 141). Through that, I feel like I will have the same sentiment about my career as Mr. Daniels has about his so many years in the making, "I’m finally at the point where I’m ready to proclaim it: I am an actor-a very good actor-and I am happy to know that I wound up where I evidently belonged. There’s something to be said for the recognition that comes with a job well done-and I’ll take that" (pg. 198).

I have to spend some time talking about Mr. Daniels as Mr. Feeny. As I have worked with a number of young professionals in my field, I hope I have been able to have an influence on them as Mr. Feeny has on not only the characters on Boy Meets World and Girl Meets World, but also Mr. Daniels on the the actors. He and I have said the same thing when young people consider our respective works, "Over the years I’ve frequently been asked if I have advise for young actors. And here’s what I’ve always said: Don’t do it" (pg 199). Ask some of those that call me a mentor, I've uttered those same words about being a fraternity/sorority advisor. It is hard work. It is long hours. It is heartbreaking. And it's rewarding. Mr. Daniels portrayed Mr. Feeny the way that he interpreted him and it translated through the screen.

"Mr. Feeny’s appeal was due to the fact that he was a friend, a mentor, and an advisor all rolled into one. In a stroke of creative genius Michael even made Mr. Feeny a neighbor. ... Feeny never “talked down” to the kids in the show, and the writing always assumed that the audience was intelligent enough to get the comedy. As the old saying goes “if you have to explain the joke, it isn’t funny” (pg. 171).

And I hope for my students the same thing Mr. Daniels had hoped for his young proteges as Mr. Feeny, "...a favorite Mr. Feeny slogan that has since gone “viral,” as they say: “Believe in yourselves. Dream. Try. Doo Good” (pg. 176).

While much of the book is centered around Mr. Daniels' life and career prior to my discovering him as Mr. Feeny, it is important for us to see where that inspiration comes from. It is also important to see the parallels that individuals can make to their own career progression as Mr. Daniels did. For us to finally say with confidence "I am good at what I do."

Citation:
Daniels, W. (2017). There I Go Again: How I Came to Be Mr. Feeny, John Adams, Dr. Craig, KITT, & Many Others. Lincoln, NE. Potomac Books.

Up Next

Quench Your Own Thirst

By Jim Koch

Book 6: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

Book 6

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

By: Becky Albertalli

Published: 2015

ISBN: 978-0-06-234868-5

Approximately 300 pages

Still can't believe I am still into this. It's been great and excruciating to think all I want to do is read. The need to read has been keeping me from getting some household chores done. However, one would think if all I'm doing is reading how could I make a mess. Trust me friends, it happens. It's like when you sit on an airplane for an hour and a half and you step off the plane exhausted...and all you did was sit. You can't understand why you are so tired from sitting.

Alright so I deviated from my original plan to read Making Meaning for a couple of reasons. The first is this book has been "burning a hole in my pocket" since I bought it a month ago. Secondly, I wanted to read it before the movie came out this weekend. While I have tried not to read the books before seeing the movies, I couldn't help myself this time. I'm going to force myself not to compare the two because the titles are different and I believe the movie is "inspired by" the book.

So not to spoil too much, this post will probably be a short one as well. I saw the previews for the movie when I binged in a movie theatre one Saturday. And by binge I mean I saw two movies back to back on the same day. I was instantly intrigued by Love Simon, and jumped onto google in the theatre to see what the book was. I'm not one to typically read a book in one sitting, however, if I had the time when I started it, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, by Becky Albertalli, would have been one of them. I read this one in what I equate to be about two days. I just wanted to spend every spare minute I had reading it.

The story revolves around teenage Simon and high school relationships. Simon is a young man who knows he identifies as gay and is not yet out of the closet. Through the magic of the interwebs, he finds an online confidant via e-mail in another student who, in e-mails, identifies as a gay male student at the same school. The two continuously exchange e-mails about their experiences and the when, how, to who, reactions to of coming out. There is additional typical teenage angst spread throughout the story.

The story also explores developing a digital relationship with an anonymous individual. I believe, while this is classified as a young adult novel, there are some things adults can also learn equating some of it to online dating. Some things even an in person relationship in how you can come to care for someone and have a yearning to spend time with them without indulging in superficial qualities.

I appreciate the choice of professions of Simon's parents. Their professions allowed for the author to not divert from the story too much by having to deal with disapproving parents. I also appreciated that the setting of the high school was fairly accepting, again, so not to detract from the intention of the story. Overall, the story is about teen angst and it stays pretty true to that all the way through.

If you are looking for a quick "find a different world" kind of book to escape just a bit, I would recommend this. If I can get through it quickly most probably can as well. Enjoy the trailer for Love Simon.

Citation:

Albertalli, B. (2015). Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda. New York, NY. HarperCollins Publishers.

Up Next (Really this time)

Making Meaning:

Embracing Spirituality, Faith, Religion, and Life Purpose in Student Affairs

Edited by: Jenny L Small

Book 5: A Whole New World

Book 5

A Whole New World

A Twisted Tale

By: Liz Braswell

Published: 2016

ISBN: 978-148470732-6

Approximately 385 pages

I didn't think I would make it this far in the project let alone be ahead, so I stepped out of my reading comfort zone a little bit and read some fiction. Well, it wasn't really too far out of my comfort zone since this story is centered around a Disney story. A Whole New World by Liz Braswell is a twist on the story of Aladdin. As you can see on the cover the premise of the book is "What if Aladdin never found the lamp?" That phrase isn't entirely played out in the book.

If you are familiar with the movie, this book follows the movie (similar to how a Disney musical follows the text of a movie while on stage) for about the first 80 pages or so. It was fun to replay the movie in my head while I was reading. Including the musical numbers that brought me back to my Vocal Point (show choir) days in college at Fredonia. We also get names of some of the characters we see in the opening scenes of the movie that we didn't know.

Again if you are familiar with the movie and using the information from the cover of the book, the Disney and/or Aladdin fan can probably piece together this story takes a turn in the Cave of Wonders. When I said the cover isn't entirely accurate it's because the point where the story turns is Aladdin does still find the lamp in the Cave of Wonders, however where the twist starts is Abu does not steal the lamp from the disguised Jafar before he throws Aladdin back into the cave giving him is "eternal reward." So Aladdin, Abu, and Magic Carpet get thrown back into the cave without the lamp.

From there it is not the story of Aladdin you know. I don't want to write too much about the story so not to get hate comments about spoilers. I will say this, as I was reading through the rest of the story it seemed very apocalyptic and Hunger Games-esque. It is a story about absolute power with a sprinkling of classism and capitalism throughout. The unfortunate part of the book is you don't see/hear the Genie as much as you do in the movie. While he is an integral part to the story, his ongoing presence is not. The flip side to that is that the twisted pieces to the story where he is present, the character is still full of the same wit and sarcasm as originally portrayed by the late Robin Williams.

There were a couple of quotes I noted throughout the book. The first of which comes from Genie when he says, "A wish is the most powerful thing in the universe. If you know how to work around the limitations. ... Only there was one tiny problem. I hadn't quite understood the catch: you can't make the wishes yourself. The universe has a way of keeping things in balance" (pg. 128). And later he revisits a similar concept saying, "Even the most powerful sorcerers in the world cannot just summon infinite amounts of anything into existence forever-it has to come from somewhere" (pgs. 230-231). If you think about this as wishes and/or goals, they don't just happen and you have to make them happen. The effort, energy, and resources you have will be utilized to achieve what it is that you are looking for. It may require some sacrifice (cost/coming from some where) but it can be in balance as well.

Jasmine also talks to us about what an individual seeking absolute power may really be looking for. "Because that's what he wants, besides power. More than anything Jafar seems to want to be loved and admired-that's why he has those parades, and gives all the coins out, and makes those speeches from the balcony. He wants everyone, including me, to love him" (pg. 178). I do believe this to be true and some leaders don't know how to achieve this properly. We will often do an exercise asking to name those we consider to be "good leaders" and those we consider to be "poor/bad leaders." Then follow that up with listing the qualities of both. If someone were to look into the personal history of those considered to be the latter, there is most likely something they lacked in their history they are seeking, love and admiration. They will believe that power is the way to achieve it.

I do also love the end of the book where the characters who identify as women and mothers refuse to be left out of the revolutionary fight. I believe this to be an even stronger message than Jasmine alone being the only identified woman who fights Jafar. 

What an amazing and creative twist on a story we know so well. If you are familiar with the tv show Once Upon A Time, the concept is similar. The biggest difference is the twists of the book are all within the same story versus the show where the characters come from multiple stories and are all interwoven. If you are a fan of Aladdin, I would recommend reading this one to see what may have happened if Jafar rose to power. The author does have other books in the series and after reading this one, I am looking forward to reading the one centered around Beauty and the Beast as I am also very familiar with that story.

Citation:
Braswell, L. (2016). A Whole New World: A Twisted Tale. Glendale, CA. Disney Press.

Up Next

Making Meaning:

Embracing Spirituality, Faith, Religion, and Life Purpose in Student Affairs

Edited by: Jenny L. Small

Book 4: The Contract

Book 4

The Contract

The Journey of Jimmer Fredette from the Playground to the Pros

By: Pat Forde

Published: 2012

ISBN: 978-1-60907-140-0

Approximately 196  pages

Book 4, The Contract: The Journey of Jimmer Fredette from the Playground to the Pros, by Pat Forde, has been on my shelf for a handful of years. I remember sharing on Facebook that Jimmer was going to be home doing a book signing.  My mom had a friend get me a copy for a Christmas gift.

If you aren't familiar with Jimmer Fredette and "Jimmermania." Here is a brief synopsis of my interpretation prior to reading the book. So Jimmer is from my small hometown area.  He is a product of Glens Falls High School (while I went to South Glens Fall High School a decade before). Our area does not see a many high profile individuals, let alone college or professional athletes, come to stardom. The hand full of names someone might recognize include Dave LaPoint, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Rachel Ray, and Brendan Harris.  Jimmer became the Section II all-time scoring leader in New York State Boys Basketball history (though that and the state scoring records were recently broken). Even though Glens Falls was not considered a "hotbed" for basketball talent, a number of greats had come through the town from high school ranks as the state tournament was hosted at the city's Civic Center (now known as COOL Insuring Arena).

Even with his scoring prowess, Jimmer was not highly recruited to play "big time" Division I basketball at the collegiate level. He had received offers from local Siena College, from the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference (MAAC) and Brigham Young University (BYU) from the Mountain West Conference.  Jimmer ultimately attend BYU and became a star during his junior and senior seasons. He was a sight to watch with his seemingly unlimited shooting range. Especially being from Glens Falls, he was must see TV for me and some of my friends. We tend to get behind our hometown stars. Living in New Jersey at the time of his rising star, Jimmer was the talk of the Jersey Shore. At least in the eyes of me and my friends.  We would make regular trips to Buffalo Wild Wings to catch later evening games on TV, and to also take advantage of the Bud Light specials after 9pm at the time. Jimmermania even spawned a number of YouTube videos asking to "Teach Me How to Jimmer."

While it was heartbreaking to watch the Cougars not make it to the finals in Jimmer's senior season, much having to do with the loss of a teammate being honest about violating the schools honor code and being dismissed from the team, the hype continued to surround Jimmer. He took home numerous Player of the Year awards, including the coveted John Wooden Award, during that season. Even with all the accolades, he was being doubted as an NBA Lottery Pick and some as an NBA player at all.  Questioning his size, at 6' 2", he has more of the skills of a shooting guard than a point guard, will he be quick enough to keep up with other NBA players, and can he play any defense? Because of our investment in Jimmer during his junior and senior seasons at BYU, my friends and I made the trip to the Prudential Center in Newark to be there when Jimmer was drafted into the NBA. Since the league had invited him to be in the green room, it was a safe assumption he would be a first round pick. I will never forget hearing the ESPN commentators, especially Jay Bilas, say "I think it's Jimmer time" as the 10th pick of the draft approached.  "With the 10th pick, of the 2011 NBA Draft, the Milwaukee Bucks select...Jimmer Fredette from Brigham Young University," were the words utter by then commissioner David Stern.  My friends and I dressed in our Glens Falls Basketball gear, while it pained me to don those being a South High Bulldog, cheered, had the kids sitting in front of us hold the sign we made congratulating Jimmer from the upper deck, high fived each other, and scanned the arena for other Jimmer fans. Jimmer had become a lottery pick. We would later find out Jimmer was actually drafted by the Sacramento Kings after a trade with Milwaukee earlier in the draft.

Suddenly, the quiet, predominately hockey crazed town became instant fans of the Sacramento Kings. I was fortunate enough to see Jimmer unexpectedly start his first NBA game in January of 2012 in Philadelphia against the 76ers.  Even more unexpectedly, my friend Brad and I ended up in a box suite with other Jimmer fans on the $15 tickets we had purchased. It was a random Tuesday night game and this was when the Sixers were terrible before "The Process." Jimmer had three up and down season with the Kings.  He then spent some time with the Bulls, Pelicans, Knicks, and Spurs.  Jimmer also spent some time in the NBA Developmental League (D-League, now known as the G League) where he became a D-League All-Star MVP. Jimmer currently is an All-Star in the Chinese Basketball Association (CBA) with the Shanghai Sharks. Last CBA season he was recognized as the International MVP of the league. He continues to "light it up" in the league regularly scoring 30, 40, or 50 points a night in the league.

Finally having the chance to read the book, there are a number of things I didn't know about Jimmer's journey. First and foremost was the title of the book The Contract. This piece of paper when Jimmer was younger and the agreement he made with his brother TJ was a driving force to reach the platform he did. Additionally, I didn't realize the strong influence TJ had on his basketball development. There were a handful of times, the aspiring rapper, made some missteps with the local and national media the drew some negative attention to himself and that is what I remember about TJ within Jimmer's rise to stardom. Clearly knowing the area and knowing we do not boast NBA level talent, the inventive work that TJ did in compiling training exercises was inspiring to read about in his care and love for his brother. I was also not familiar with TJ's anxiety and vestibular disorders.

There were a few things I noted as I was reading the book. I was aware that Jimmer identifies with the Church of Latter Day Saints (LDS) and Mormonism, but there are some basics throughout the book that discusses the Mormon faith. Knowing the area is not a space having many regularly practicing Mormons, I was interested to read about Jimmer's transition to BYU and Provo where the faith is more prevalent. It was interesting to read the snippets from Mormons: An Open Book produced by LDS and their list of "Ten Facts to Know When Meeting a Mormon."Additionally, Jimmer identifying as a white player in a sport dominated by non-white players, I appreciated the author spending some time with Jimmer and the Fredette family sharing their perspectives on his journey and navigating that portion of his identity in his new world as well.

While we are all now removed from the Jimmermainia of the early twenty-teens, it is still very much alive in my life tracking and watching Jimmer highlights from China. It was fun to read about local places I grew up with and were familiar with. It also gave me a chance to reminisce about the 2011 NBA Draft and how much fun my friends and I had even just listening to people read off names.  Jimmer was always must see TV with my dad and I whenever one of his teams were on TV. I remember watching his debut with the Bulls and lighting up the Knicks while with the Kings. I also remember his first game in the NBA staying up all night when the Kings played the Lakers, and won, during the lockout shortened season.

I would recommend anyone this book who are fans of Jimmer and/or from the Glens Falls area. We may see some more of this hype over the next year or so out of GFHS!

Citation:
Forde, P. (2012) The Contract: The Journey of Jimmer Fredette from the Playground to the Pros. Shadow Mountain Publishing.

Next Up:

A Whole New World

Liz Braswell

Book 3: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*uck

Book 3

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*uck

A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

By: Mark Manson

Published 2016

ISBN:978-0-06-245771-4

Approximately 210pages

Book three, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson, jumped off the Amazon.com page for me probably for the same reason it jumped out at many people, the bright orange color. No really, because of the word "fuck." While not the most appropriate word in the world, it is one that is firmly in my vernacular.  It's just such a versatile word.

It's becoming such common place that I read something recently that late night cable series may no long have to edit it out. The late George Carlin's list, from this 1978 clip of the "Seven Dirty Words You Can't Say on Television," is continuing to dwindle. I'm beginning to wonder what is even off limits anymore.

Alright enough about that, let's talk about the book. My overall thoughts are the book was enjoyable. It was easy to read and pretty straight forward, similar to my first book. There are a number of things within the book not necessarily earth shattering new information, but instead, a new way of thinking.  Additionally, there are a few pieces of the book I disagreed with the author.

Manson discusses the idea that physical and psychological pain indicate something is out of balance and life is a series of problems to be solved. Our happiness lies in what problems we choose to solve and how we choose to solve them. He also, early on, discusses his interpretation of negative and positive emotions. Negative emotions, he states, "are a call to action. When you feel them, its because you are supposed to do something" (pg. 34). Positive emotions" are rewards for taking the proper action" (pg. 34).

The author also dives into our digital reality. We live in such an information heavy age, our own insecurities can be magnified by the latest web page or article we have access to. Not to mention the intentional personal bullying that could ensue through social media. Through this, Manson spends a bit of time discussing entitlement and the "easier and more problem-free our lives become the more we seem to feel entitled for them to get even better" (pg. 57). I believe the biggest thing that struck me, and I have internalized this personally, is "Technology has solved old economic problems by giving us new psychological problems. The Internet has not just open sourced information it has also open-sourced insecurity, self-doubt, and shame" (pg. 60). How many of us (raising my hand) have felt some sort of inadequacy reading a "Facebook friend's" post regarding a new job, promotion, or recognition or even things in their personal lives such as engagements, weddings, children, or a new pet and not felt some sort of jealousy or "I'm better than that person so why am I not achieving that?" We all do it in one form or another.

Manson then begs the question, "if suffering is inevitable, if our problems in life are unavoidable, then the question we should be asking is not 'How do I stop suffering' but 'Why am I suffering-for what purpose'" (pg. 69)? He then goes into something I have found helpful recently he called the "self awareness onion."

The self awareness onion looks like this: (pg. 70)

1. Understand one's emotions.
2. Having the ability to ask why one feels certain emotions.
3. Our personal values: Why do I consider this to be a success or failure? How am I chosing to measure myself? By what standard am I judging myself and everyone around me?

He then moves into how changing or adjusting our values will change how we see our problems. I believe it was summed up pretty well on pg. 89 when he said, "...self improvement is really about: prioritizing better values, choosing better things to give a fuck about. Because when you give better fucks, you get better problems. And when you get better problems, you get a better life."

The next piece of the book I have recently resonated with all too much. The first piece that stuck out to me was when Manson states, "We don't always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond" (pg 94). This statement couldn't be truer. How you interpret everything around you and how you respond to it outwardly is key to having the resources and support to decide how to press on with it. However, one must realize that your interpretation of a situation may be different from someone else. One cannot enforce their own experience/interpretation of a given situation on another.

Manson discusses a concept of "victimhood chic" later in the book. Now I don't know if it's because of the industry I am in and/or evaluations of myself, but this concept I believe comes very much from a place of privilege and I don't necessarily agree with the author's stance. Manson discusses "victimhood chic" as being "in style on both the right and the left today, among both the rich and the poor. In fact, this may be the first time in human history that every single demographic group has felt unfairly victimized simultaneously. And they're all riding the highs of the moral indignation that comes right along with it" (pg 110-112). He goes on to say "Right now, anyone who is offended about anything-whether it's the fact that a book about racism was assigned in a university class, or that Christmas trees were banned at the local mall, or the fact that taxes were raised half a percent on investment funds-feels as though they're being oppressed in some way and therefore deserve to be outraged and to have a certain amount of attention" (pg 110-112). It may be the way I'm reading the section, but it just seems to read very privileged and derogatory. That many sub-sects of this species don't have the right to feel victimized. Now,  I don't know how the author identifies, however, judging from the picture in the back cover he looks to be in his late thirties early forties, white, heterosexual (he later discusses the relationship he has with his wife), and male. There is some privilege that comes with that identity and being a best selling author.

The remainder of the book had me questioning if there was any good left. Discussing searching for doubt and measuring success by your failures. These are things I tend to do regularly. I have been the pessimistic optimist searching for all of the things that could go wrong, attempting to troubleshoot issues that haven't occurred, and fretting (usually) all for not.

The final two chapters in the book really do tie some concepts together. The first is, while we all want to have many experiences and sometimes less is more. If we have less, perhaps we can appreciate it more deeply. I recently had an interaction illustrating this. I had a student venture into my office stating they were stressed out. I keep a number of mindfulness pieces in my office including a coloring book and crayons (and yes I work with college students). When I presented the student with the coloring book and 8 pack of crayons, we discussed the intentionality I had with only having the 8 pack versus having the giant 96 pack of crayons. Because when you are using this as a calming activity, having more choices into what colors to use, as strange as it sounds, could amplify the individuals anxiety.  Having minimal choices in colors, the student could appreciate the different shades of those basic colors based on how hard or softly they pressed and at what angle they colored from. I believe in the field I work in this is also true of our advising/supervision style and the student response. We can see different shades and depths of them (their personalities, their potential, and their present) the way we push and at what angle we push from.

The final piece discusses coming to grips with our own mortality. This discusses, what something in the fraternity/sorority advising field talk about a lot, leaving a legacy. Manson leaves us with four questions (pg. 205):

• How will the world be different and better when you're gone?
• What mark will you have made?
• What influence will you have caused?
• They say that a butterfly flapping it's wings in Africa can cause a hurricane in Florida; well, what hurricanes will you leave in your wake?

Manson mentions in the chapter that humans are the only animal having the ability to conceptualize their own mortality. Knowing this, he suggests once we come to grips with our mortality, we can put our values into perspective and begin laying the foundation of our legacy. Again, I believe this to be true when thinking about my profession as well. I view part of my role is to help the undergraduates understand their time within the chapter is limited and how are they laying a foundation for their organization to continue to grow and prosper.

As much as I found the book bouncing around and changing concepts, I did enjoy it. Again, not going to lie, I enjoyed the "colorful" language throughout the book. I found myself laughing out loud in some sections. For those of you who don't necessarily enjoy the vulgarity of such language, it is not as prevalent as I may make it out to seem. I would recommend this book for individuals who are looking for a way to put the issues they are dealing with in perspective. While it won't provide you with easy strategies to completely change your perspective, it will provide you with an intellectual release and cleansing that you can let some things go.  It's just a matter of how you chose to let them go and what you are going to replace them with that is important.

Citation:
Manson, M. (2016) The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuative Approach to Living a Good Life. San Francisco, CA. HarperOne Publishing.

NEXT UP:

The Contract

(Pat Forde)

Book 2: Capital Gaines

Book 2

Capital Gaines

Smart Things I Learned Doing Stupid Stuff

By: Chip Gaines

Published 2017

ISBN: 9-780785-216308

Approximately 175pgs

Alright so book 2, Capital Gaines - Smart Things I learned Doing Stupid Stuff by Chip Gaines.  I'm going to be completely honest in this, I purchased this on a whim on the way home from the long holiday while stopping to get light bulbs.  Yes I had been traveling, Macomb to Indy before the holiday, two weeks in upstate NY for the holidays, another weekend in Indy doing what I love to do, then the 4.5hr trip back to Macomb.  Remembering I had a couple of light bulbs out before I left for the holidays and I was trying to wait out a wintry mix storm, I decided to make a stop at one of my favorite stores, Menards when I was about 45min. away from Macomb.  So yes, I did need to gas up and the Bills were in the playoffs for the first time since 1999 and I had been listening to the close game on the radio for the entire drive, I decided to run to Menards and then hit the local Buffalo Wild Wings to catch the last quarter of the game.

As I was rummaging through Menards, like I said 45min away so I don't go often, I had already decided to start this project.  So I meandered to the books section and this one jumped out at me.  I knew "The Magnolia Story," which is on my list, had already been published but somehow I felt more connected to this book while on the shelf.  I had spent a good portion of the holiday break watching HGTV, probably because it's one of the few "adult" channels I could watch when my young nephews were around without fear they would pick up words they shouldn't use.  I have always been a fan of Fixer Upper, the projects they take on, the people they interact with, how they interact with them, and the dynamic of Chip and Joanna when working with their clients and their own family has always been appealing to me.  And let's be honest, when regularly watching the show, you can recognize Chip is a master at his craft, has a lot of passion doing what he is doing, doesn't mess around when it comes to his business and clients, and his goofiness makes me believe his vernacular is similar to mine.  So I thought this may be an easy read.  It was, however, I was surprised at the depth he took me in few words.

He starts by telling us his intention for this book is to serve as a coach to chase our passion.  There are a number of times he digresses by talking about his upbringing, building his business, developing his relationship with Joanna, and his family.  While it's not necessarily coaching, it gives the reader insight into how he developed this coaching ideal and why.  There is also a section of the book where he discusses the decision he and Joanna made in determining that season five of Fixer Upper would be their last.  While he didn't go too into depth about the decision, he did tie it back to something from the beginning of the book I can truly buy into.  Early in the book he expressed he and Joanna can do many things well, but to do something truly great they can only concentrate on two of those things at a time.  When a third was creeping in, the show, the two main priorities in their lives were not getting the attention they needed.  Not being very spiritual myself, but understanding the Gaines family is, I could appreciate the religious references that Chip makes periodically in the book.  Chip returns to the coaching at the end of the book by providing the reader space to reflect on parts of the book and take a few notes.

When I think about what I have been experiencing in my personal and professional life there are a number of quotes that stick out to me.  The most important is a passage in chapter fifteen (pg. 158):

"In regards to both of these particular businesses, the people who bought them from me were able to dream bigger than I ever could have.  My part in them wasn't the fancy part, the part that gets or even deserves the recognition.  I was the small beginning, and that minor role is still plenty fulfilling to me.

Why try to predict what something is capable of or what it's going to do?  Instead, why not just make a runway for ideas to take flight-and then enjoy watching them soar."

This just absolutely jumped out to me in the work that I do.  When I further thought about it, it was also relevant to my personal life.

Doing what I do, I am fortunate to have the opportunity to work with, advise, council, and develop undergraduate and graduate leaders.  While many of them are great leaders and go on to do wonderful things, there are a handful of men and women who develop a passion for this thing was call fraternity and sorority.  I have, on two occasions, had conversations about my own professional mortality with former students who have entered the field of fraternity and sorority advising.  While we, as mentors, continue to challenge ourselves to continually grow, I think there is a capacity to which we are the initiators of that personal growth.  At some point, while continuing to be relevant, I think we resolve ourselves to helping "lay that runway" for our next generation to have the "ideas to take flight."  And I have very much enjoyed "watching them soar."  In these two instances, I have said to these individuals, "You will be better at this than me.  And it should be that way."  They have proven me right by being recognized in the field and by their peers.  I am fortunate to still maintain a presence with these two former students.  I have never been the person who seeks or feels deserving of "the recognition."  Frankly being recognized embarrasses me.  So, while I know I am still developing new skills to help lay that foundation, I love working with all of the former students, staff members, and colleagues that "dream bigger than I ever could have" to advance our field.  If they will continue to have me I will gladly be the co-pilot.  If not, I'll be satisfied sitting in that first class seat right behind the cockpit knowing I was a small part of them taking flight.

While that professional reflection was sappy, it's about to get even more tearful (alright it might just be me, and that's ok)!  Personally, that passage has had an even more profound impact on me.  I live in two separate worlds of kids.  There are the set of kids that are easy to identify, my two nephews (my sister and brother-in-law's children) in upstate New York.  And there are my ten first cousins once removed (below there is a flow chart to help understand the relationship and some of them do call me Uncle Tyler just because it's easier) who live about an hour and a half away from me in Iowa and Illinois.

My ten "little" cousins range in age of four and a half to fifteen.  How lucky am I to have the privilege, as long as my cousins let me, to be a part of their kids lives. Watching them develop and be a part of them becoming well rounded good people.  I realized I am so fortunate to have this opportunity with them as I spent a long weekend with each of the families basketball games, basketball tournaments, bowling tournaments, shopping, meeting first time "serious" boyfriends, helping with middle school math homework, cuddling with little ones, and spending time with my cousins who I saw every couple of years growing up.  Reading that section I was overcome with the blessing I have had from my cousins to have the kind of trust in me to drive them around town and be a responsible role model for their children.  Again, being a part of laying that runway for their dreams to take off.  It's also enlightening to see each of the different parenting styles and how each works for my cousins' families.  While the "littles" free will comes from their parents, I'm just happy to have a small impact and role with them.

As important as they all have become in my life because I am closer in distance to them, none is more important than the trust of my sister and brother-in-law with my two nephews.  So my two nephews are four and a half and nineteen months.  While I had spent some time living in NY when my first nephew was two, at such a young age and limited time with him in person, I am still helping with that runway for the younger one.  Watching these boys in person and through digital media, I still have the ability to influence their future.  Just by talking with them they are developing their speech and critical thinking skills.  I watch them process simple direction and complex questions that will help them develop in their own way.  While these boys develop their own identities with their own influences, I am glad to be part of a family system where we all make the effort, near or far, to include each other in all of our development, mine included.

To tie a bow on all of this, if you are a fan of shiplap, remodels, #DemoDay, Chip, Joanna, and/or Fixer Upper, I would make this recommendation.  Below I found a YouTube clip from the audio-book version.  It sounds like Joanna narrates her own forward and Chip his book.  While I haven't listened to the audio-book version, I would imagine hearing the words from the original author and the inflections in the sentences may be even more impactful than reading the words in print.

 

Citation:

Gaines, C. (2017) Capital Gaines: Smart Things I Learned Doing Stupid Stuff. Nashville, TN. W Publishing, an imprint of Thomas Nelson.

NEXT UP:
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
(Mark Manson)

Book 1: Business Without the Bull S***

Book 1

Business Without the Bullsh*t

49 Secrets and Shortcuts You Need to Know

By: Geoffrey James

Published 2014

ISBN: 978-1-4555-7458-2

Approximately 261 Pages

So my first foray into blogging and I begin it with Geoffrey James' Business Without the Bullshit.  This book was initially recommended to me by a job coach.  The initial purpose was for the areas of updating my resume and interviewing because I was in between jobs, so I had focused my attention on those chapters.  Having the time to actually sit and read the entirety of the book there are so many useful items for anyone at the beginning of their career and even those at the mid-level such as myself.

The book is easy to read and very easy to reference.  None of the secrets (chapters) are more than seven pages.  So if you are like me and getting close to your quitting point wondering how many pages are left in the chapter, chances are you are only one or two away with this one.  The final page of each of the secrets highlights the points within that secret.  So if you need a quick reference it's right there.  And again, each of the secrets are quick and straightforward (sticking with the theme of the title).

While reading through all of the secrets I could easily see where I have evolved and what areas I can still improve upon as a professional.  Working in the field of higher education on a college campus, there were a handful of secrets  I didn't necessarily apply to me such as "How to Ask for a Raise" and "How to Handle Corporate Lawyers."  While these things may be more relevant within different functional areas, they aren't things I deal with on a day to day basis.

There are a number of compelling and useful pieces of the book such as "How to Write a Compelling Email," which I think many of us sometimes lack the capacity to do.  "How to Use Social Media" is another great secret, for some of us that aren't as technology savvy, centering around creating your personal brand and what platforms are best used for what.  The final part of the book, "How to Cope with Evil," I find to also be very useful.  While the author does caution the reader upfront not to use the described tactics for themselves, it is useful information on how to CYA if you are starting to spot the behaviors.

The author really puts lots of common sense things into the simplest of concepts.  No bullshit.  No extra fluffy words to try to make it longer, because let's be honest, who has time for the extra fluff.  I highly recommend this book for those starting their careers and reference back to it throughout their careers.  There are a number of excellent secrets to managing organizational culture.  I also recommend for those at the mid-point of their careers as some responsibilities may shift and/or be added to the job.  The book covers managing bosses, employees, co-workers, and yourself.  Additionally, it provides some thoughts on hiring the ideal team and how to tackle some of the tough pieces of the work force...laying someone off or firing them.

Citation:

James, G. (2014) Business Without The Bullsh*t: 49 Secrets and Shortcuts You Need to Know. New York, NY. Business Plus - Hatchette Book Group.

NEXT UP:
Capital Gaines - Smart Things I Learned Doing Stupid Stuff
(Chip Gaines)